the why's of men
Posted by Bunny on the 31st January 2008
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he
stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think
if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good
looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in
your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long
enough.
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Son asked his mother the following question:
'Mum, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and replies,
'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'
The son thanks his Mum and goes off to double-check this with his father.
'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'
The father looks at his son in surprise and says,
'Son, all household appliances come in white.'
It's nice to be loved eh fellas.
Cymro.
We love you really :-)
Plus you will be perfect once us women have trained you . LOL ;-)
I,m sure one of you guys will come up with the why's of women to get your revenge.:-0
Well BG you got me worried I have only just got on line and you have already tapped into my Emails, Its a good thing I cut the rude parts out first,( and me being a precher,s son )what would dad say know, WHOOPIE !!!!!
Doug OZ
Doug
What is the time and date in Oz right now, are you ahead of us or behind us I can never work it out .
I think I will have to alter my sleeping pattern as most of the activity on here is when I am in the land of nod and we seem to lose the continuity of the conversations.:-0
It depends where in Oz you are BG, here in Western Australia we are 9 hours in front of you but on the estern side of oz e.g. Queensland = Brisbane, New South Wales = Sydney they are 11 hours in front of you and 2 hours in front of us here in W A.
My sister in the Rhondda always gets confused too and ends up ringing me at 2 a m when I'm getting my beauty sleep in.
Cymro.
Cymro
Thank you for that ,I will have to try and have an afternoon nap now and again so I can come on here in the night to have an instant chat to our distant friends .:-)
See BG all the talk about us men when you have to ask us the time of day, but don,t worry you can depend on us to look after you.
Lady in Bris took her scarf back to the store be cause it was to tight.
Woman in south Bris got fired from her job in a pharmacy for not printing labels on bottles, her reason the bottles would not go in the type writer.
Another woman in Cardiff was so excited,she had finished the jigsaw in 6 months box said 2 to 4 years
There was one up in the BEACONS that tried to go water sking but she could not find a lake with a slope.
Same one enterd a breast stroke swimming competition
complaind other swimmers cheated because they used their
arms
One from Cwm could not ring police emegency because the phone did not have a button with three ooo on it
Im going before I get In trouble Doug OZ
Hi BG you dont have to get up in the middle of the night I have a replies,that I talk to in Uk ""and beleve it also friends" if I ring them at 6 pm they answer at 9--9,30am of the same day and I email and get a reply the same day I am usualy on some nights until 10-30 most of my ansetry replys come through about then, But then we do not get told that A-d-o-L has a message waiting
See you later Doug OZ
Doug
I don't think I will ever get the hang of the time differences between countries ,most of my learning brain cells are dead.
I remember things I was told 50 years ago but cannot remember what I was told yesterday.:-(
Love the little digs about us women ,thought someone would have a go back.LOL ;-)
WOMEN'S RIGHTS
The following took place at an international conference for women's rights.
The first speaker, a lady from England stood and said, "During last year's conference, we spoke about being more assertive with our
husbands. Well, after the conference, I went home and told my husband, Barrington, that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself.
After the first day, I saw nothing. The second day, I saw nothing, but on the third day, I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb."
(The crowd cheered).
The second speaker from Russia, stood up and said, "After last year's conference, I went home and told my husband, Ivan, that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. The first day, I saw nothing. After the second day, I saw nothing,
but on the third day, I saw that he had done not only his own washing, but mine as well.
(The crowd again cheered).
The third speaker, a Jamaican lady, stood up and said," After lass year's conference, I wen home and tole dat lazy husband of mines, Dingo Jack, dat I was froo pickin up his beer cans, cookin his tucker and washing his undaweah and dat he was goin to haf to do dem himself.
(The crowd went wild with cheering and clapping that lasted for five long minutes).
She continued...........................
"Afta da first day, I nevah see nuffing.
Afta da second day I nevah see nuffing,
>Keep Scrolling
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>but afta da fird day, I could see a little bit out of my leff eye."
Battle of the sexes by the look of things LOL
Q) Why don't women eat pickled onions?
A) Because they can't get their heads in the jars.