I KNEW THAT WOULD HAPPEN IN MERTHYR,YOU CAN NOT TRUST
THOSE MOUNTAIN PEOPLE, WE USED TO GO SWIMMING THERE IN THE HEATED INDOOR POOL,AND I GOT ATTACKED BY A GIRL,I
WAS LUCKY I FOUGHT HER OFF( AFTER WE WERE FINISHED,) AND
I STILL GET DREAMS ABOUT IT

DOUG OZ

LMAO @ nonrev.You're on the right tracks. Nonrev, where you and i live is now pronounced ABUraman! PMSL!!

D. I was wondering why I'm not getting any mail, has the post code been altered as well, are we now in the district of ABBACOMBOHI new post code AY49 WY43. very confusing.

OV I can't see the needle yet alone thread it. I may manage to thread a meat skewer with thick twine. LOL

Do you wish to start another thread for laughs.

E=Mails
I can’t remember where this came from but it’s funny.

My thanks to all who have sent me e-mails the past year……….

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat shit in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in hospital for the 1, 387, 258th time.

Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants to split £7, 000, 000 with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363, 214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer use cancer- causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca- Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy petrol without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a bill with calls from Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.

Thanks to you, I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum.

And thanks to your great advice, I can’t even pick up the £10 I found dropped in the car park because it was probably placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144, 000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00 pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy lump.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour’s ex mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician.

By the way….a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ who have infrequent sexual activity always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.
Don’t bother taking it off now, its too late.

I was depressed last night so I rang Lifeline.
I got a call centre in Pakistan.
Told them I was Suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.