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How Can I Be So Dull With Just One Head!!
MY old 'puter which i've had for 7 years finally went......PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARPITTY PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARPPARRUP!!SIX weeks ago.The wife said "no wonder it made that noise you've been FARTING about with it for years !!" followed by loud laughter. nice girl. Then YESTERDAY my brand spanking shining bright new one came,"Very nice aint' it" i said to she who must be obeyed."It don't look strong enough to last long in this house" she said,"It's got windows 7, 64 bit installed "I said "There's no doubt in my mind that you'll have it in more bits than that before your finished, or a few bits missing, 'till in the end you'll have a 51 bit model" she really laughed then. she was going downstairs when she stopped and picked up a sheet of paper"JUMPIN' BLUDDY JACK FLASH !!" she screamed, and came shooting back up the stairs, PC Invoice in hand. "you're not to go on it unless someone responsible is with you, and if i see you with a bluddy screwdriver in your hand I'll hit you over the head with a frying pan!!"
"How can he be so dull with only one head" was her parting shot.Nice lady "OUCH!"
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I've been having a go at it
I've been having a go at it the last couple of days, and I must say it's much sleeker.faster and nicer than the old one. (My PC; I'm refering to,NOT the wife)Ha!Ha!Ha!
hello dmj, It's now last
hello dmj,
It's now last year since you posted the glad tidings about your new computer,(I don't look in very often these days) so happy bloody new year and I hope you have more luck with your's than what I do have with mine now isn't it then.
Watch out for Apollo, I hear he's after money to make up for the fiver he spent on his wife's Christmas present.
Ha ha bleeding ha!!!! I'll
Ha ha bleeding ha!!!! I'll have you know I had to walk around Sainsubry's for nearly 4 hours, waiting for them to reduce the prices on things before I could pick her a present. She told me to get a box of Mr Kipling Mince Pies, so I said "what if they havn't got Mr Kipling", so she said oh get anything" so I bought a flagon of cider-why did that get her nasty I wonder?
Hello dmj, Can you see how
Hello dmj,
Can you see how Apollo is trying to impress the ladies on this forum by showing how generous he is towards his wife, a whole flagon of cider mind. What he failed to mention was that his wife, a dear long suffering lady, doesn't drink. It should also be made public that for her birthday he bought her a silver-blue nothing to tie around her neck and a blade-less knife without a handle.
Anwyl curlyleads, a happy
Anwyl curlyleads, a happy new year to you and your family,or as they say in northern Tai Cement "S Novym Godom!" where by the way it's the year of the Yak Lovers, so you won't see many yaks with their "atractive" bits exposed for too long, No Sireeeeee!. As far as Apollo is concerned , if what you say is true then he's nothing but a CAD! I'll go further than that , A BOUNDER!!
I've had my doubts about him ever since we had that infamous fancy dress party in Abertaf and he came dressed as a transvestite, not only that, he came to schoiol for the next four months in the same outfit! The only concession
he made regarding school atire was that the wore a school tie rather raffishly in his bonnet! AND DAMNED ATTRACTIVE HE LOOKED TOO!!
I'm glad you remember the
I'm glad you remember the blighter dressing in ladies clothes because I was beginning to doubt my memory, but
I still recall the words he muttered as he tried to adjust his frilly knickers while walking down the corridor ---
" That's the trouble with shoplifting, you can't try the bloody things on".
No doubt he'll deny it, or blame it on people who didn't understand him, always said he'd turn out no good.
FOFPML!!!cURLEY I CAN
FOFPML!!!cURLEY I CAN PICTURE HIM IN THOSE KNICKS AFTER SHOPLIFTING, FULL OF PENCILS, ONE OR TWO SAUSAGES A FEW TINS OF CORNED BEEF And the odd Jubly or two.(I WOndered why dicky fenn was always neck nuzzling him,'Cos he was a sucker for the old jublies and a firm beefy sausage or two)
Hey dmj, He used to collect
Hey dmj,
He used to collect used Jubly cartons and take them back to the shop to try to get money on the empties.
curly, now, come to think of
curly, now, come to think of it, he used to go to the shop by the school with empty corned beef tins to get money back on them as well, wrapped up with what looked suspiciously like an old pair off knickers, with the monogram D.F sewn on 'em!!!
L.O. dmj, I notice the
L.O. dmj,
I notice the devious little cacca is choosing to ignore all nasturtions cast on his character but I have it on good authority, from a local councillor no-less, who obviously tells the truth, that recently he has been seen going out late at night dressed in a pink chiffon nighty with matching high-heeled bedroom slippers, and rumaging through wheelie bins. When questioned by two police officers, who had to be issued with a SatNav because they were on foot due to their car being stuck in the snow, he said "it's ok I'm only checking the bins for aliens". It's not known whether he meant the ones from Europe or the nicer ones from space but the officers accepted this explaination on the grounds of diminished responsibility, theirs or his is not clear, and advised him to wear wellies in future as he could get chilblains in bedroom slippers. A sad case.
Well curley,I do hope we're
Well curley,I do hope we're not going to have any nasty replies off old Apoll' and he realises that we did it with his best interests upermost in our minds,and that it hurt us more than him to expose , as gently as we could, his little,...how shall we say....worrying devian.....odd ways.Knowing old Apoll' he'll thank us for our friendship and candid (as chums can be) well intentioned remarks.
PS;CURLEY , just in case,and i realise a lot can be lost in translation,but, you don't know what the Welsh for EFF OFF is do you?
LO dmj, Have you noticed
LO dmj,
Have you noticed how he's keeping a very low profile, is he worried about something? The tales that could be told about his 'unusual' manner of dressing, but we have to keep some sense of decorum on the site.
One thing I can mention is the time, about 30 years ago, when he auditioned for the part of Marina in the series 'Last of the Summer Wine', sadly he failed the audition, not because of his acting ability but because they thought he was too attractive.
I couldn't find a translation of EFF OFF in my dictionary so I asked a highly educated person, who I see every week for therapy, what it meant. He said that the pronounciation changes slightly to EFF ORF and it is a term of endearment used by the Queen whenever Charles asks for more money for Camilla.
Which reminds me of the day in July 1974, when Charles was unveiling the new fire bucket in Penrhiwceiber Miners Welfare. He turned up wearing a large hat made of fox fur, and Billy Ten Bellies, who was in charge of the Welfare, and self-appointed 'Escort to the Prince', couldn't resist asking him why he was wearing a big warm hat on such a lovely summer's day. Charles explained that as he was leaving Buckingham Palace to attend the function, the Queen stopped him and asked where he was going, when he said "Penrhiwceiber" she said "Wear the fox hat".
I'm going for my Horlicks now because the excitement is just too much.