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Funny old sayings
Posted by apollomed on May 6, 2008 - 2:39pm
It's funny how old sayings come back to mind that bring a smile. There's no better than the Welsh for those sayings which just come out as normal conversation and I am sure readers here will have heard some of them before.
Two of my favourites are:
" Boiled ham on the table and nobody has died-there's posh for you"
and
"Whose coat is that jacket"
LMAO
Anyone else can add to these??
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Ye, theres a few that come
Ye, theres a few that come to mind
"Dont burn bread your feeding the devil"
"the devil finds work for idle hands"
(Funny thing about these two my father wasn't realy a religeous man, but was forever quoting these to me)
"Waste and you will see want"
But the one he always muttered when I put the face on was
"A little bit of powder
little bit of paint
makes a real lady
look just what she aint"
"you look as if you have kissed a jam jar" for the red lipstick I wore
But my mothers remarks about anyone that thought they were a class above us
"fur coat and no knickers"
Any more to follow as I am sure we all love the old quotes
My gran used to say "Now
My gran used to say "Now hurry up and take your time".
My other gran would say of someone who was grumpy that "She's wearing the skin of her arse on her elbow", but I've never worked that one out.
And my old mate Ray Meredith, singer extraordinaire from Aberaman,would always remind me, when talking about some of the rougher diamonds that we knew, that "You can't polish a turd", which I suppose is very true, even though I haven't tried it.
and of course a good
and of course a good Welshman never forgets to shout "i'll be with you NOW in TEN minutes"
Never quite understood how someone can be here now in in ten minutes
My old grandpappy used to
My old grandpappy used to say "If you try your best ,then nobody can say it's worth two in the bush !!" I always remember that.
My parents used to say
My parents used to say about someone grumpy "He's wearing the skin of his arse on his forehead" not elbow as your gran used to say.
If someone was scratching their bum they would say "Butter's coming cheaper"
I could never work that one out either.
And if they were poor they would say "He haven't got a two halfpennys to scratch his arse with"
Funny sayings that we accepted as normal years ago.
I think they call it Wenglish now these days. e.g. She's under the doctor, if she's sick.
Dirty old doctor. LOL
Cymro.
My mother had one that i
My mother had one that i thought was good
If she or he fell in shit they would come out covered in Diamonds
He moved like as though his arse was on fire
If you dont wash behind your ears you will grow potatoes there
DOUG OZ
They had some funny sayings
They had some funny sayings bless them.
If it was cold, Put the wood in the hole Bach there’s a gale coming through here.
If they seen a child with holes in his socks it would be Poor little soul he got spuds in his socks.
If my father in law was going out, my mother in law used to say “Will” have you got your spectacles, testicles, wallet, and watch.
If someone died. Dew there’s nice he/she looks laid out in the front room. I often used think who hit who.
If they wanted to borrow something. Ask Mrs xyz can I borrow a cup of sugar / flour tell her she’ll have it straight back.
And no fighting now in your Sunday best , hear me.
"See those two houses by
"See those two houses by there, I live in the middle one"
or
"See that Chapel-that's the one I don't go to"
or
" I don't know, he's as much use as a one legged man in an arse-kicking contest"
LMAO
If you dont do as i say I
If you dont do as i say I will knock you into the middle of next week
who told you to speake,?you speake when your spoken to,!! shut up
DOUG OZ
LO Cymro. You got the
LO Cymro.
You got the forehead one correct, it's this old memory of mine. Now what was I going to do?
Over heard two women talking
Over heard two women talking in the Co-op. The one said to the other "And I do know what I'm not talking about".
Also over heard in the fish shop in Gelligaer. Two women behind the counter frying and a well dressed fellow in front of me asked for Hake and Chips. The woman serving him turned to the other woman and said "What's hake?", the second woman replied "Cod is hake" so the first woman gave him cod and off he went quite happy.
He also used to say "Red
He also used to say "Red sky at night is better than a poke in the eye with a long turnip!" That one always held me in good sted wherever I went. (Yes including Tai Cement!) for those of you that are standing open mouthed in awe and admiration at my Tadgu's literary prowes!
They got a saying here
They got a saying here in Oz for someone that's next to useless,
They say " He's about as much use as Tits on a Bull"
____________
What's "Hake" be buggered, That was all they would buy in the Rhonda at one time, Cod was considered an inferior fish to it.
As kids we'd buy a halfpenny worth of "Scrumps" to eat on the way home from the pictures, (Not the Cinema) if you bought a penny worth you'd have a bloody bath full.
They must have been all cholesterol but we didn't suffer any ill effects as we ran the streets and the mountains back then and used our surplus energy up by being "ACTIVE" so consequently "FIT"
Perhaps when your father got paid on Friday you could have a "Doubler" from the fish shop, that was one fish and chips and that was 3d. That's 1 and 1/2p in today's money.
What we pay for fish and chips today would buy you the whole fish shop.
Cymro.
DONT do as I do ,do as I
DONT do as I do ,do as I tell you
If I hear you swearing again Iwill wash you bloody mouth out with soap.
A good wengslih site is,
A good wengslih site is,
www.talktidy.com
One I use to find funny was
One I use to find funny was what parents use to say if we went climbing trees.
"Don't come running to me if you break your leg."!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Another one.
"Don't pick your nose or you will pull your eyes out" .:-0
If someone wasn't in a
If someone wasn't in a very good mood we would say "He's a cracksy bugger"
Why Cracksy I wonder ?
Cymro.
A few years ago I worked as
A few years ago I worked as a driver for a well known undertaker and usually on the return trip from the Cem or Crem I was able to overhear many pearls of wisdom. One that I particularly remember is the conversation between two elderly ladies as we passed a bunch of kids standing on the side of the road:
Lady 1: Haven`t those kids got anything better to do?
Lady 2: They`re a terrible nuisance aren`t they. Everynight we have kids on our corner, laughing and smoking and god knows what else. And their language is awful!
Lady 1: You want to tell the police.
Lady 2: Oh I`ve told those buggers, but what did they do? F--- All!
That’s a new one on me
That’s a new one on me Cymro, I’ve heard them saying He/ She’s a Crotchety old Bugger, (grumpy or touchy) it maybe the same meaning but a different area. It’s a pity they are not around today LOL, like William said even they had choice language when they wanted to use it. Some more that come to mind.
I’ll be there in two shakes of a lambs tail.
If you don’t tell Bobby/ Willie / to come in for their dinner I’ll knock his/their block/s off.
Less of your lip lad or I’ll crown you.
You can go out after you black leaded the grate. and tell Jane /Willie to put some elbow grease into it.
Bed time, if you were playing up it would be, get up that wooden loft now.
THATS not fair mam, neither
THATS not fair mam, neither is a black mans arse.
How many times do I have to tell you its time.
Go and tell your dad his dinner is ready again
DOUG
Bed time:- Up the wooden
Bed time:- Up the wooden hill to blankety fair.
Red hat no knickers. :-0
Don't swallow that chewing gum it will stick to your ribs.
my gi god bless her she was
my gi god bless her she was the funniest person some of the tings she used to do were take 2 pain kilers before going to bed so she wouldnt wake up with a head ache she would also have her cup of benlin of so her cough wouldnt wake her up lol. but the most important thing she would she would say just remember that nobody is better than you, but you are no beter than anyone else.
an old workmate and myself
an old workmate and myself used to quote old sayings for a giggle..he had one that cracked me up......who tied the dog up loose?...another was, who's coat is this on the back of the front door !
Funny Quotes and
Funny Quotes and Sayings
Welcome to our Cool Funny Quotes and Sayings. There are hundreds of short funny quotes on our website.These quotes are short so very easy to remember and funny to make you laugh till you loose your pant off your butts.You can use these quotes and sayings in your emails, taglines, greetings, on t shirts and can present them in small social gatherings to make a cheerful and humorous climate.Please feel free to submit you new funny quotes to our collections. We update regularly.
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I hate women because they always know where things are.
by Malcolm de Chazal
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Man has will, but woman has her way.
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doesnt know the difference
doesnt know the difference betwwen sh1t and chocolate pudding
My gran used to say "If your
My gran used to say "If your not careful you'll wake up dead one of these days"
They used to say "He's a
They used to say "He's a funny bugger he is" Not meaning he is one to be laughed at but one to be avoided as he could be an awkward bloke to deal with.
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Why monkey nuts I wonder?
One Good old saying is
One Good old saying is "There is no such thing as a free meal"
Bus Passes, cold weather payments and free television licenses are next to go, along with Incapacity Benefit and Disability Living Allowance. YESSSSSS!!!!!
Incapacity benefit has
Incapacity benefit has already gone. Try to stay current.
I apologize, you are
I apologize, you are correct. Nevertheless, I would like to see the Employment and Support Allowance looked at again. In 2014 all claimants who are now on Incapacity Benefit will be moved on to ESA then after a time they will ALL be moved onto Job Seekers Allowance, money cut and stopped!
Any disabled person on DLA who lives within half a mile of a bus route will have their benefit stopped.
Things are now looking up for the hard working tax payer!
As I said "There is no such thing as a free meal, (ANYMORE)!!
The joke's content (meaning)
The joke's content (meaning) is not what provokes the laugh, it just makes the salience of the joke and provokes a smile.